The Grand Adventure
Good Morning,
Two days from now my wife Lorene and I will celebrate our 42nd wedding anniversary (and yes, I checked the math). It seems nearly impossible that time has gone this fast, but the calendar does not lie. Neither does the calendar show the breadth, joy and challenges of the years past.
I am amazed at the reality shows that follow couples preparing for their wedding day as if it will be the greatest day of their married life. Thousands spent on a dress, thousands spent on photography, even more thousands spent on food, drink, and a venue for the reception. They put an intense amount of time and energy into this one day.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against a nice wedding. What I find troubling however, is the disillusionment that can come with such an emphasis on the start of a marriage. The initial celebration must be followed by intentionality to build on the joy of the wedding day. And such intentionality must be many times greater than that given to the start.
I often say that if your wedding day is the best day of your marriage, I feel sorry for you. The amount of work, sacrifice and collaboration it takes to have a flourishing marriage is astounding. It is joyful and painful, hard and wonderful. It will take dying to yourself over and over again. Yet there is no other relationship this side of heaven that can be so rewarding. It can be a grand adventure to destinations, sometimes unknown. But the adventure itself is worth fighting for.
I often tell young people that you can’t check off enough boxes when looking for a spouse that will guarantee success. There are no guarantees. You will have to work hard to flourish as a couple and you will never be able to go on cruise control. But the rewards of diligence are so wonderful. Someone who knows you almost better than you know yourself. Someone with whom intimacy is extraordinary beyond words. Someone you can communicate with, even without the necessity of words. Someone who shares your deepest sorrows and greatest joys like no other. And someone who makes the journey itself worth undertaking.
If you are married, let me encourage you that your relationship is worth fighting for. The sacrifices required are small compared to the rewards. Beyond that, the example of love, grace, forgiveness, redemption and yes restoration, can be one of the best legacies you will leave your children.
No matter your past, embrace the present with new vigor this morning. The adventure of marriage is special. There is no other ride quite like it.
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney
Live this week on purpose,
Ron Klopfenstein
